Every time I see a parent walking down the streets of the West Side with a child by their side, I say a little prayer for them. One for the parent, for them to be blessed as a parent. And one for the child. That they may grow safely and successfully into maturity. Especially when I see a father with their child; I smile even more widely. Part of it is the stereotype that’s been built into us white people that good Black fathers are rare (not true, by the way).
Another part, however, is recognizing the HUGE importance of Black men in the lives of Black children. In addition, the unique and special role that a father or father figure plays in the life of a child. Not to mention the special role and mutual gift the child offers to the father. In both responsibility and a greater sense of positive identity and purpose.
Debunking Stereotypes of Black Fathers
Let me take a moment to first debunk the stereotypes about Black fathers. Excerpts from an August 11, 2020 article published on GiveLegacy.
There is clear evidence that Black fathers are more involved in their children’s care, and their lives, than fathers of other races. “We can not equate the number of unmarried dads to the number of ‘fatherless’ children.”
“The majority of Black dads (2.5 million of around 4.2 million) do live with their kids, even if they’re not married to their partner,” according to American broadcaster Josh Levs.
Black fathers “are more actively involved in their children’s lives than their counterparts of other races,” according to a 2013 CDC report. In fact, unlike most of their counterparts, Black fathers who live with their children are more likely to read to their children and help them with their homework.
Black Fathers are Attentive
“The report also reveals that, among dads who don’t live with their children, Black dads are more likely to be involved in care,” according to GiveLegacy. This includes, “reading to their children, helping them with homework, talking to them about their days, and taking them to activities, [then] Hispanic or white dads who live apart from their kids.”
Furthermore, “Non-residential Black fathers are also the least likely to report that they’re not at all involved in the care of their children.” This includes changing diapers, bathing, dressing, and playing with their children.
We know as well that systemic racism continues to ravage the Black family in so many different ways. I believe they deliberately erect barriers for Black returning citizens to fully connect with their children, as so many long to be a part of their children’s life.
Unique Blessing
But let me focus on the unique blessing that a Black father (really any father) can be to their children. Biology and a deep body, mind, and spirit connection bind a mother to a child in a unique and special way. For fathers, it is different. Children look to their fathers to be willingly chosen, embraced, and loved!
Fathers are those strong figures who choose to — or not to — raise and nurture their children. All of us want to be chosen, loved, committed to being protected, and supported by a father or father figure. Fathers offer a unique kind of love to their children. I believe that’s why Jesus referred to the God he prayed to as “Abba.” Which means “Father” or “Daddy.”
Jesus had his mother and the deep connection unique to a mother’s relationship with a child. Joseph, his earthly father, modeled the love of the Father in heaven by helping raise Jesus. Remember the voice from the heavens after Jesus’ baptism in the Jordan (Mt 3:17), “This is my chosen, beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased.”
Thank You
Wow! God chose Jesus! Thanks to all of our Black fathers and father figures who choose to love, nurture, protect, and raise their children! May we honor them by doing everything we can to remove any obstacles for them. Thus allowing them to be who they are called to be: Men of virtue, loving spouses, and incredible fathers!
By Fr. Larry
Source:
GiveLegacy: The Truth about Black Fatherhood: Stereotypes about Black Fathers
Top and Featured Image Courtesy of Didier Lin‘s Flickr Page – Creative Commons License
Inset Image Courtesy of AdaMacey’s Flickr Page – Creative Commons License
