In the last few years, a couple of paintings have emerged depicting the Virgin Mary holding the crucified, lifeless body of her Son: the classic Michelangelo sculpture, the Pieta, and an image of Mary with Jesus represented by George Floyd, painted by artist Kelly Lattimore.
Both have been strongly praised by many and equally criticized by many who dare to call the images racist against white people.
The images are remarkable in that they capture the image of the grieving mother of Jesus, uniting her and her Son with the grieving of so many Black, indigenous, and Latino mothers who have borne the sadness and grief of losing a son, daughter, or husband, all victims of the violence inflicted by systemic, environmental, individual and internalized racism.
As a pastor, I have witnessed too much of this pain from women in the Black and Hispanic communities. It grieved me to have a woman announce to me that she was pregnant and was praying that the child would not be a boy because she anticipated all the discrimination and harassment he would receive solely by being a Black man.
I expressed my grief during a meeting with our former mayor. The community tried to push him for police reform and direct involvement by citizens. However, when a young mother tried to relate to him as a parent about her fear for her teen sons, he responded forcefully, “Do not bring my family into this conversation!”
We revere mothers and motherhood, as we should. I do not believe there is any mother who does not want the very best for her children. The problem is that many parents do not know what healthy family life, good education, livable housing, and meaningful employment look like and feel like. The pressures placed on our mothers in communities of color result from the deliberate destruction of the Black family through the war on drugs, continuous disinvestment in communities of color, and creating dependence on entitlements.
I think it is amazing how parents, especially single mothers and fathers, manage to do their best with what little they have, despite the pressures of years of past, and current trauma. This is why we, as a community, need to step up to support our mothers in every way possible.
At St. Agatha we offer our “From Stressed to Blessed” classes for parents. We engage them in sharing their hopes, dreams, and struggles. At the same time, they are offered additional tools to build stronger communication in the home and address conflict in peaceable ways. We also offer parents Financial Education classes to help them manage their financial resources in an effort to diminish the heavy pressures that living from check to check can inflict.
We also encourage our mothers to reach out for counseling needed to deal with the grief they may be carrying from past or current trauma. Mentors can assist them in talking about this and, if appropriate, refer them to one of our great mental health resources in the community, The Encompassing Center offers free mental health services to anyone in the North Lawndale or East and West Garfield Park areas.
I do not think it is accidental that we often refer to the natural world as Mother Nature. Mothers are much like the cycle of nature, they are life-giving. When devastated by natural events, nature finds a way to resurrect itself, as do mothers when encountering the disappointment, pain, and grief that life can often present. Nature always finds a way, and so do our mothers. Nature is diverse and beautiful as are our mothers. Nature provides nourishment and sustenance for us, as do our mothers, especially when that nourishment and sustenance are the hugs, kisses, encouragement, and listening ear that children need. Nature always finds a way to turn seeming death into new life and new possibilities.
We give thanks to our mothers, both living and those now passed on and welcomed into the loving embrace of our God.
Opinion by Father Larry Dowling
The Encompassing Center: 3019 W. Harrison St. Chicago, 60612, Phone: 773-638-5703
St Agatha Catholic Church: Ministries; From Stressed to Blessed: Support for Peaceable Parenting
Featured and Top Image by Sai De Silva Courtesy of Unsplash
Inset Image by Austin Wade Courtesy of Unsplash
